Obvious
by frilencer
Summary: A story about the steps that Tony and Ziva have to take to get together
1. A reflection

**Hi everyone! This is my first multi-chapter Tiva fic :) I've already written the first four chapters so far and I'll soon write the other ones :D**

**I don't own NCIS.**

_**A reflection**_

He looked at his reflection in the mirror, studying the details of his face, realizing that he hadn't observed it for years. His eyes followed with his finger the path lined by the wrinkles on his forehead, watching the years passing on his skin.

_I'm getting older… I'm old._

He put on his jacket and his tie, staring at his eyes and then at his body. That body, that face that had always been considered handsome and attractive… that body and that face that were now losing all their glory as years passed. He was just an old man living a younger man's life. He was just a stupid child unable to grow up. He was stuck in his carefree past, living a never-ending childhood decorated with jokes and fun, but completely empty on the inside.

And now? What did he have now? A home full of silence, nothing else to smell than his own scent, no one else to see in the morning except for his reflection. And the spirit of a forty-year-old man fighting inside his veins, screaming at him, forcing him to do something, to move on with his life, to get out of the prison of his empty past and go find something else to live for.

_Do you ever regret not having a wife and kids?_

Her words had been lying in his mind for those two years, waiting for the right time to come out and hurt. And now, they did hurt. Because yes, yes, he regretted it. He regretted having missed the chance to have a life, a _real_ life, a life full of love and happiness, a life made of something more than waking up, going to work, going to bed.

He had been missing chances. He had been missing chances for all those years. He had been watching them flying by in front of his eyes, but he had missed them all. And now, now there was this big chance in front of his eyes, every day and he could see it, he could see _her_, but something was still stopping him. Something was still stopping his burning need to do what he wanted to do. He was stuck in his fears and his worry. He knew that it was his last chance, that _she _was his last chance, and he didn't want to miss it. She was his last buoy to cling on to. If he missed the chance, he would be lost in the sea of his empty life forever.

It was not as easy as to cling on a buoy though. There was a different kind of instinct that encouraged him to cling on her. He didn't need to save himself from sinking. Or maybe he did, actually. Because, after all, he was trying to save his life, trying not to sink in the deep sea of the emptiness of the daily routine.

She was the one who could save him. She was the one who could grab him by the arm and put him in a safe place. She was the one, he knew it.

* * *

He stared at the doors of the elevator for a few moments, trying to find the strength to move and get into the bullpen. It was getting harder and harder to go to work. Every morning, the sight of her face slammed against his eyes the consciousness of all his mistakes and regrets and the only thing he could do was hide the bitterness behind a cheerful "hi".

He was quite sure that nobody was aware of the stormy thoughts flowing around his head. Nobody but her, of course. She was aware, he knew. Sometimes he gave her a look and he caught her staring at him. He couldn't help smiling when he saw her doing that, even if he didn't want her to be worried about him. Somehow, anyways, the fact that she was aware of the wars that had been fought inside of Tony flattered him. She was there, caring about him, unaware of the fact that she was sort of responsible for the wars inside of him. Actually, she was not the cause of those wars. She was the peace that he had been looking for. He just needed to find a way to let her know this.

**

* * *

**

He kept thinking about the words she had told him only a few weeks before. They really touched him. He didn't expect her to do something like that. Of course, he did expect her to confront him, but the things that she had said… they weren't the kind of words that he thought he would hear.

She had told him that they loved him. She had told him that he needed to find balance and he needed to be himself. But the words that most marked him were "You are just growing up." Her words had definitely found their mark. She could really understand what was happening inside of him. She knew that, two years before, when she asked him if he didn't regret not having a family, and she knew that now.

He felt naked in front of her. She was able to read the pages about him written on his face and she could understand them like everything about him was written in her mother tongue. She didn't even have to try very hard. She just saw him, saw everything of him, inside and outside of him, and there were no walls that could be built to stop her.

Yet, she still hadn't noticed the most important part of him, the hope resting in his chest, the hope that was the only chance he had to move on. She didn't notice how important she was to him, how much she was bound to that hope, how much that hope was about her. She couldn't see that. Or maybe she could and he didn't know.

**

* * *

**

"Are you done staring at me?" Ziva asked him with an amused smirk on her face.

Suddenly, Tony woke up from the flow of his thoughts. He looked around for a few moments, then he gave a quick look to Ziva and he lowered his head, starting to stare at some sheets of paper on his desk. He got back to work, trying to hush the angry voice that was telling him off in his mind.

He got distracted more and more often at work. His thoughts were haunting his mind and he often found himself doing nothing, just staring and thinking. But until then, nobody had noticed it.

All of a sudden, Gibbs showed up in the bullpen and said, "Grab your gear." Tony mentally thanked him for giving some other work rather than paperwork. When he was on the field, he couldn't let himself be distracted and it was easier for him to focus on the work he had to do when Ziva wasn't sitting right in front of him.

**

* * *

**

They were at the crime scene half an hour later. The dead marine was lying on the ground, covered in blood. He was about forty and probably he was considered an attractive man by women.

"Lance Corporal Jason Colber, forty two," McGee said, looking at the screen of his cell. "No…"

"Not married, no kids," a man continued, joining Gibbs' team near the body. "It's sad."

Tony froze where he stood. He raised his gaze just for a moment and he didn't miss the quick glance that Ziva gave him. He immediately looked back down at the body.

"And you are…?" Gibbs asked the man, looking at him for a quick moment.

The man reached out his hand, but Gibbs didn't do the same. He just raised his own hand with the glove covered by blood, waving it in the air. The man smiled. "I'm Caporal Panson."

Gibbs nodded, then turned to face his team and ordered them to bag and tag everything and to question the neighbors. The day proceeded slowly.

**

* * *

**

It was already afternoon when Colber's superior officer arrived at the Navy Yard. Tony, Ziva and Gibbs joined her in the conference room. The Lance Corporal, a rather attractive thirty-year-old woman, was sitting on the chair at the bottom of the room, trying not to burst into tears. Tony and Ziva shared a quick look then they sat.

"Have long have you known Colber, Miss Bath?" Gibbs asked the woman, looking at her with sympathy.

She bit her lips and turned her face to her right, looking at nothing in particular. "For… almost six years." She nodded and she closed her eyes for a second.

"Did you know him well?"

The woman smiled sadly. "Yes, better than anyone else, I think."

Tony frowned, surprised by her answer. "You… had a relationship?" he asked, hoping not to bother her too much with his question.

Emily Bath looked right into Tony's eyes. "No," she said calmly, without irritation.

"But…?"

"But we were… close," Emily said, nodding again, with her eyes getting redder and redder. "I mean, we had each other's backs, we always had. He was the one who always cheered me up when I needed it. I don't think that…" her eyes started to look at the ceiling, "I don't think that he knew how much he did for me, I… I don't think that…" she bit her lip once again.

Gibbs put his hand on the woman's shoulder. Tony felt freezing inside. He couldn't help but feel like she was talking about _them_. He turned to look at Ziva, but she was staring at Emily, still like ice, and he didn't see anything on her face that could suggest him what she was thinking. Somehow, anyways, he was sure that she was feeling the same as him.

**

* * *

**

Tony walked towards the vending machine, right where Ziva was standing. Of course it wasn't by chance that he had decided to have a break at the same moment she had made the same choice.

"Can I offer you a coffee?" he asked her, smiling at her.

Ziva turned to face Tony, not even trying to hide her surprise. "Why?"

He frowned. "Wh… what?"

"Why are you offering me a coffee?" she narrowed her eyes at him. "You've broken something that belongs to me." Tony opened his eyes widely. "And now you're trying to soften me up by offering me a coffee," she concluded, smiling with satisfaction.

"Wait… what? No, no," he denied, shaking his head, looking at her with shock.

"Really?" Ziva wasn't convinced.

"Really," Tony said, offended that she thought so little of him.

Ziva looked at him carefully, trying to figure out whether he was lying or not. "Okay… but you have to admit that it was a possible option."

Tony gave a faint smile. "Maybe."

She smiled back, then she turned again, picking her money from her pocket.

"Hey, I told you that I was going to offer you a coffee," he protested.

Ziva smiled, even if Tony couldn't see her. "No… you told me that you wanted to offer me a coffee, but I did not say yes."

"What if I said I insist?"

"Do you?"

Tony laughed. Ziva inserted her coins in the vending machine and waited for her coffee to be ready. In the meantime, Tony leaned on the vending machine, looking at her intensely. When she took her coffee, Tony moved his gaze to the back of the room, looking at nothing in particular.

"How do you think it would be… losing a partner you've known for that many years?" he asked, still staring at the walls in front of him.

Ziva bit her lip, trying to hide the shock that that question had caused to her. She looked at her coffee intensely, like it was the most interesting thing in the world. She didn't speak until she felt Tony's eyes casting a glance at her.

"It must be… devastating."

Tony kept quiet for a moment. "Devastating," he repeated.

"Yes." She paused. "I mean, it must… depend on the kind of relationship you had with your partner, … I guess."

"What if it's the same kind of relationship that Bath and Colber had?" he asked, turning to look at her. Ziva was still staring at her paper cup, which was still full of coffee. She raised her head a little, facing the vending machine. She hesitated before speaking.

"I do not know, maybe… maybe you do not even… realize what happened at the first moment." She paused for a few seconds, slowly bending her head. "And when you do… it must be devastating, yes." Ziva nodded and took a deep breath. "Losing the person who has always had your back and… the person who made your job easier and better… I… I don't know."

Tony was now looking at her intensely. "You don't know…?"

Ziva looked at him for just one moment. "I have never lost a partner I had that kind of relationship with."

"And… have you ever had that kind of relationship with anyone? I mean… with a coworker…" he asked her, without sounding teasing for once.

Ziva immediately looked at Tony, staring intensely at his eyes.

"We better go back to work," she murmured and drank her all coffee at once. She threw the paper cup into the wastepaper basket, she glanced at him one more time and she left.

Tony sighed, then he followed her.

**Reviews please? *-* I'd love to know what you think abou this! :)**


	2. A guy

**Hi everyone :) Thank you for the nice reviews :) So, well, here is the second chapter, I hope you'll like this too.**

_**A guy**_

Another day, another morning, another coffee. Ziva drank her coffee slowly, tasting every single drop of it. When it was over, she washed the cup and then she went to the bathroom. She stared at her face for some time, looking at all the makeup she was wearing.

There had been a time when she never wore makeup. There had been a time when there was nothing on her skin and around her eyes. When she was younger, when she was in Israel, working for the Mossad; even during her first years at NCIS. But then something had changed. She had started to wear makeup and earrings; she had started to have different hairstyles: straight hair, curly hair, pony tail… every day a different one.

When she thought about this, Ziva wondered what had changed. "Maybe I was just… growing up, becoming a woman" was her usual answer, but she knew that this was not the real reason. The real reason was another one: she had let herself do something that she had never done before. She had let herself become a woman like all the others, a woman who's allowed to wear makeup, and she does, because she wants to like herself and she wants people to like her. It was not vanity, though. She had never really admired her looks and this was why she was always surprised, and maybe flattered, when men told her she was pretty, or even beautiful. She was starting to become conscious about the beauty of her body and she was getting more and more comfortable about it.

She didn't feel comfortable when Tony told her she was beautiful, though. Of course she was flattered and his words made her shiver and smile. She felt uncomfortable about that because it was… embarrassing. She never felt embarrassed when someone else told her she was beautiful. She laughed and smiled and flirted back. With Tony, she felt embarrassed. She hated to feel embarrassed. She felt weak and vulnerable and she didn't want Tony to see her like that. This was why she didn't ever say anything when he told her she was "beautiful" or "attractive". Receiving compliments from him… it wasn't easy. The worst thing – or maybe the best thing, according to some part of her mind – was that the compliments were getting more and more frequent. His most beautiful compliment was a mark in her mind: _contents priceless. _She smiled every time she thought about that. He had never really talked about the fact that he liked her before that. But that sentence, those words of his… the meaning was quite obvious.

Tony liked her, after all.

As time passed, she had started to wonder if he just _liked _her or if there was something else. Somehow, she was afraid of the answers her mind gave her; but above all, those answers made her smile once again and she felt happy.

**

* * *

**

While was driving to the Navy Yard, Ziva kept thinking about his words: "Have you ever had that kind of relationship with anyone?"

She was angry at him for some reason. He said too much. It was obvious he was talking about them, and she didn't want him to talk about them. It could just make everything harder and more complicated. As if it wasn't complicated enough already.

That thing that they had… that relationship… of course she had thought about it when Bath had described the relationship she had had with Colber. Everything had reminded her of the two of them. Bath had almost quoted her own words: "We had each other's backs. We have always had."

Why was everything so complicated? Why couldn't it just be easy?

_I guess it's never easy when you really care about someone. _

Her own thoughts scared her. Anyways, she had to admit she cared about Tony. Actually, she didn't only _care _ about him. She loved him.

She kept thinking about the moment when she had told him those words. She had never been so honest with him. She had never been so honest with _anyone_, actually. She had never revealed her feelings out loud. But she had done that for him, _with _him, and she knew that this meant something.

Ziva wondered if Tony had realized what her words meant to her. Of course, she had been trying to tell him that _everyone _loved him for who he was. But above all, she was talking about herself, about her own feelings, about her love for him, for the man who – she knew that very well – was not only the class clown. Tony was much more and she hadn't told him anything about everything he was. She had just said "class clown" because that was what he really needed to hear in that particular moment.

But while she was driving her car on the way to the Navy Yard, Ziva wished she had said much more.

**

* * *

**

When Tony got into the bullpen, Ziva had been sitting on her chair for twenty minutes. She welcomed him with a smile and he smiled back, then he sat. He looked quite tired. There was a shadow of bags under his eyes.

"Did you sleep well?" Ziva asked him, trying to sound more amused than worried, like she was.

"Never slept better," he replied sharply, avoiding her gaze, pretending to focus on the sheets of paper that were on his desk. But as time passed, he could still feel her eyes on him. "What?" he asked, looking at her.

"Nothing," she immediately said and then she got back to work.

Tony kept staring at her for a few moments then he looked away from her. Of course, he _hadn't_ slept well that night. He had lain in his bed all night, awake. He had spent hours thinking about Bath's words and about _them._ He just couldn't believe that Ziva hadn't thought about the two of them while listening to her. The woman had perfectly described their relationship and that was why Tony couldn't help thinking about Ziva's death. He had had a hell of night, a night full of thoughts about her death and about himself after her death. They had a dangerous job. They risked their lives every day. There was always the chance that something bad could happen. Something could kill them anytime.

Sometimes he found himself thinking about this, but before listening to Bath, he hadn't thought about that for months. Everything was just perfect between the two of them in all those months and he had never let himself think about all the bad things that might have happened.

After the meeting with Bath, these thoughts had come back to his mind and he was afraid they were never going to leave.

_Well, actually not everything is perfect._

He found himself thinking about the guy from Miami that Ziva had met only a few months before. Maybe Tony just needed to focus on something that could distract him from thinking about her death. Anyway, he started thinking about him, about the man that was a shadow that had been darkening Tony's life. His presence in Ziva's life kept bothering him. Every time the Agent had a "wonderful moment" with Ziva – a nice chat, for example - every time he had that joyful feeling after talking to her, that guy was there, in his mind, reminding her that there was a hindrance to surmount.

He didn't know what kind of relationship Ziva had with The Guy. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. In fact, everything about the ordeal reminded Tony of those months when he was trying to find out the reason why Ziva kept going to Israel. When he had found out about Michael and the relationship he had with Ziva… he was broken inside. At that time, he wasn't even completely aware of his own feelings for Ziva. But now he was and the more he thought about The Guy, the more he hoped he would go away from Ziva's life as soon as possible.

**-break-**

That night, the case about Colber's death was closed. They were all packing their things when Ziva got a new e-mail from The Guy. Tony immediately knew who the e-mail was from. He just needed to look at Ziva's face and everything was clear. She had that special face that made her look even more beautiful. But Tony's heart hurt every time he saw that face, aware of the fact that that wonderful joy drawn on her face was coming from a man that was not him.

He took one last look at her before leaving and he saw something that he hadn't seen on her face for awhile: a pleasant surprise.

"What happened?" he asked, trying to sound less curious than he was.

"My friend from Miami… he is coming to see me," she answered, replacing the look of surprise on her face with a huge smile.

"Oh," was all he could say. He bit his lip and lingered with his eyes on her. "And… when is he coming?"

"In two days," she replied, looking at him for a very short moment.

Tony smiled, unable to say anything else. "Okay, well… goodnight."

"Goodnight."

When the doors of the elevator closed in front of him, he shut in eyes and sighed.

**

* * *

**

Two days later, Tony was sitting at his desk looking at Ziva's empty chair. He hadn't arrived earlier than usual though. It was her that was late.

_She's probably having fun with her Miami Guy, right now, _he thought, biting his lower lip and venting his anger on the pen he was using to write a report.

When she got into the bullpen with a huge smile on her face, he smiled too, but his smile was a fake one, unlike hers.

"You're late, huh?" he asked, keeping on smiling.

"Yes," she said simply.

Tony laughed. "Who are you and where is Ziva David, the woman who never arrives late at work?" Ziva didn't answer, but she only shook her head and smiled, amused. "Okay, I understand," he continued. "You're her alter ego. The real Ziva David is… where? Let me think… Maybe at home, having fun with her friend who just arrived from Miami?"

"I wish it was like that…" she murmured, absently looking at something on the screen of her computer.

"You wish what?" he asked, not completely sure he had understood what she meant.

"I wish I were at home and not here at work," she answered, still staring at the screen.

"At home with your friend…?" Tony teased her.

Ziva smiled for a moment. "Maybe."

Tony kept looking at her for almost a minute before going back to work. She had had fun provoking him with her mysterious answers, he knew. Maybe she knew that he was jealous and she was just enjoying the sight of him being jealous.

_Of course she knows. She always knows._

That morning it was even harder for him to focus on his work.

**

* * *

**

Tony got out of the building about seven pm. It had been a long day at work. Ziva was still in the office, finishing her report of a case. Tony hadn't felt like waiting for her: there was no chance they were going to have one of their "wonderful moments" that night.

Outside it was quite warm. Tony walked slowly towards his car, with his mind full of annoying thoughts. Tony was opening the car when he saw the man.

A man was standing right beside Ziva's car, only a few yards away from him.

_So there he is, _he immediately thought, sure about the fact that this was The Guy.

He couldn't resist. He found himself walking towards the man, who was now looking at him. "Hi," Tony said when he was only a few feet away from him.

"Hi," the man said, looking at him with curiosity.

Tony smiled. "You must be… Ziva's friend… from Miami."

"Yes."

Tony nodded, studying his face with attention. He was about the same age as Ziva. He didn't have a very handsome face, but he was probably considered rather cute by women.

"My name's Ray," the man said, with a cheerful smile drawn on his lips.

"I'm Tony," Tony said and he immediately noticed that his name had set off a reaction on Ray's face.

Ray looked surprised and then smiled widely. "Hi, Tony."

Tony didn't what to think; his reaction had been quite meaningful to him: Ziva must have mentioned him to Ray. But he couldn't understand why Ray had smiled.

There was now an awkward silence between the two of them. Tony was determined to break it, so he asked the first question that came across his mind: "So, uh… you're staying at Ziva's place, right?"

"Yes," Ray answered. "I arrived last night and Ziva had prepared a delicious dinner. She's a really good cook."

"Yeah… She _is _great, right?" Tony said absently, still studying his face and the tone of his voice carefully.

"Yeah, she's really sweet," Ray said, nodding.

Tony showed a sad smile upon his face and looked at Ray's eyes. "I'd better go now…"

"Okay… it was nice to meet you, Tony." Ray smiled again.

"Yeah, same here," Tony said, faking the umpteenth smile. He walked away from him for a few feet, then he turned to face the man and stared right into his eyes. "Handle with care. Contents priceless," he added, before turning again. He left a confused Ray behind him.

**

* * *

**

"You know, I met Tony in the car park while I was waiting for you."

Ziva almost dropped the mug she was carrying. "Oh…" she said, trying to hide the blush that had just showed up on her face.

"He seems to be a nice guy," Ray continued.

Ziva shrugged her shoulders. "Yes… you know, he is the class clown," she said, smiling lightly.

"I understand," Ray replied, laughing. "He looked a bit… strange, though."

Ziva frowned. "Strange?"

"I don't know.. He acted like he didn't feel comfortable in my presence…," he said, thoughtful. "And… he told me something a bit… weird before leaving."

"What did he say?" Ziva asked, giving a mug of hot cocoa to Ray. The man looked right into her eyes and said, "'_Handle with care. Contents priceless_.'" Ziva didn't say anything for a few moments. She looked surprised, but in a positive way. "Does it mean anything to you?" Ray asked.

"Yes, it does," Ziva murmured, hiding her smile behind her mug.

Ray kept quiet waiting for her to say more. She didn't add anything, though. She looked lost in her thoughts. Ziva couldn't believe Tony had really told Ray those words. Anyways, the fact that he had made her blush and smile. She was so happy, but she tried the hardest to hide her joy from Ray.

"I think he's convinced that we're together," Ray said, trying to break the silence between them and above all curious about her feelings for him.

Ziva laughed lightly and sat on the couch beside him. "He is."

"Why haven't you told him the truth?" She didn't say anything. "I think he's suffering because of this…" Ray continued, looking at her intensely.

Ziva gazed at the floor. "I know."

"But…?"

"I do not feel like telling him," she replied sharply, now looking at him.

"Why?" She didn't answer. "Because you like him being jealous?" Ray asked, smirking.

"No," she immediately replied, offended.

Ray smiled again, then he put a hand on Ziva's shoulder. "Come on…"

Ziva bit her lower lip. "Okay, maybe…"

Ray laughed. "Ah, I understand… You have romantic designs on him."

"Ro… romantic designs?" Ziva asked, frowning.

"Yes," Ray confirmed, nodding.

"Uh… I… I do not know what you are talking about," Ziva said, blushing and getting up from the couch. She went to the kitchen to wash her mug, while Ray was following her with his gaze, smiling.

_Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about._


	3. A fight

**Here I am with the third chapter :D I'm currently working on the seventh! :D**

**Thank you all for your reviews, both the positive and the negative ones... I'm glad you like it and I'm glad you tell me what you don't think it's good. **

**I'm quite excited because we found out (in Recruited) that The Guy's name is really Ray :) just like I imagined.**

**Anyways, here it is. I hope you'll like it! **

_**A fight**_

The doors of the elevator shut and they kept quiet for few moments; then Tony spoke.

"Is your friend from Miami still here?" he asked, trying to sound as indifferent as possible.

"No, he is not," Ziva replied, still staring at the doors in front of her. "He left yesterday afternoon." Tony nodded, with a serious expression on his face. Ziva took a glance at him, then she said, "I think I've never told you… that we are not together."

It took some time to Tony's brain to process her words. When the meaning of what she had just said was perfectly clear in his mind, he had to try his best to hide the fact that inside of him had just started a party and that his heart was currently uncorking a bottle of champagne.

"So… you're just friends?" he asked, keeping on staring in front of him.

"Yes." She smiled. "Good friends."

"Oh, well… this is great news." Tony immediately understood he had said too much. "I… I mean, unless you want… something more…" Tony hold his breath waiting for her to answer.

Ziva laughed. "No, I do not."

"Does he?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Tony frowned and smirked at her. "I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

He laughed. "Come one. You're a beautiful woman and he thinks you're great, so…"

Ziva smiled. "Well… this does not prove anything. And the fact is that… he does not like women."

"Oh." Tony tried to contain his happiness. "So… I guess he likes you just as a friend."

"Just like I told you," Ziva précised.

They looked at each other and smiled.

The doors of the elevator had opened almost a minute before, but they hadn't even realized that. They left the elevator and reached McGee in the parking lot. They didn't talk all the way to the crime scene. Ziva was focused on the driving, while Tony was lost in his thoughts. However, for the first time in weeks, his thoughts were neither annoying nor painful. He was just really happy.

**

* * *

**

The crime scene was a simple warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Tony and Ziva got out of their car and followed Gibbs and McGee into the warehouse. It was dark and dusty inside. It took them almost a minute to find the body which was lying on the floor, with a hole in the middle of his head.

"Where's Duck?" Gibbs asked, kneeling near the body.

"He's stuck in the traffic," McGee answered promptly.

Gibbs looked at him. "Stuck in the traffic… in the middle of the open country?"

McGee opened his mouth, his lips forming an 'o' shape as he remembered. "Oh, well… Palmer forgot how to get here, so they found themselves in the middle of the most crowded street of the States, so…"

Gibbs smiled lightly, then went back to stare at the body.

In the meantime, Tony and Ziva were "taking a tour" – as Tony said – of the warehouse, trying to find anything that could be useful. They noticed a door that lead to another room.

The other room was quite big and just as dusty as the other. It was less big, though, and there were some stairs. Tony and Ziva looked around.

"I don't think the killer left the murder weapon here," Tony said.

"We might be lucky, though, and maybe find something else, like…"

"Signs of a struggle?" Tony asked, walking towards something that he had just seen. Ziva followed him.

While they were bagging and tagging the evidence, they heard a noise. Ziva turned, just in time to see a bullet speeding towards her. The bullet hit her in the left arm and she fell to the ground, blinded and confused by the pain. Tony immediately rushed towards her, without thinking about chasing the guy who had shot her.

They heard another bang and saw Gibbs and McGee running into the room and then upstairs.

"Go with them, Tony! What are you doing here?" Ziva yelled at him.

Tony nodded, a little stunned, and followed his team members.

* * *

Three days later, Ziva's arm had almost completely recovered and she was back to work. The bastard that had shot her was now rotting in prison, waiting for the trial that was most likely going to incriminate him of murder.

That was something that was wrong with her, though. She had been acting strange all day, especially with Tony. She had been acting elusive and crabby. Tony felt like he needed to confront her.

When they found themselves together in the elevator, Tony stopped it and turned to face Ziva.

"What?" she asked sharply.

"You tell me what."

Ziva immediately understood why he wanted to talk and she felt relieved. She wanted to talk to him and was glad that Tony had made the first move.

"The other day… when the man shot me." She paused for a moment. "You did not run after him. Why?" She looked at him intensely, forcing herself to repress a feeling that was most probably anger.

Tony didn't know what to say. He knew why, but he wasn't going to tell her. He wasn't going to tell her that he hadn't run after the man because he had only thought about her. He should have regretted his action, because it had been pointless and because he hadn't acted like an agent should. But he knew he would do that again if they were in the same situation.

_I acted like a person who cares about his partner. _

She was still waiting for an answer, looking at him in a way that made him burst out.

"What do you want to hear, huh?" he asked, staring right into her eyes.

"The real reason."

"Like you didn't already know," he replied sharply.

Ziva shook her head and faked a smile. "What am I supposed to know?"

Her question provoked an explosion inside of him. He was now unafraid to tell her the truth, if it was the truth what she wanted. "I don't know, maybe…" he faked a smile too. "Maybe that I was a complete fool to stay with you when I should have chased the killer! Maybe that I did a stupid mistake. Maybe," his voice had grown into a yell, "maybe that I did what I did because I care about you!"

"That should not matter while we are working!" she shouted, hitting the air with the sudden movement of her arms.

"Oh, come on." He gave a faint laugh. "It's always mattered, and don't try to pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about."

His words hit her like a punch on her face. He continued, driven by all the feelings that were burning inside of him. "That time when you started a fight, even though we had had orders not to engage. Don't you remember?"

"I do!" she yelled, then she sighed deeply and calmed down. "I… I know, I remember."

"So why does it matter so much now?" he asked, still angry.

"Because…" she stopped in the middle of the sentence.

"Because?"

She sighed again. "Listen, Tony, I am trying to make this work."

"Trying to make _what _work?" Tony asked, now a little confused.

"Us!" she yelled. "This… _thing_ between us!" She took a deep breath. They were still staring at each other's eyes. "It is not easy for me, Tony."

"What isn't easy?" he asked again.

"This relationship we have… it is not easy, okay?"

"R… relationship?" Tony laughed, his voice sarcastic.

"Yes." He shook his head, confused. Ziva kept talking. "What were you talking about the other day, huh? When we just listened to Bath's words. Do not tell me you were not talking about us!"

"Of course I was!" he burst out.

"So what?"

"What?"

They both felt anger and pain in their chests. Their fight was getting too far, they knew. They needed to say those things, but neither of them was ready to face the other's reaction. Neither of them was ready to see what was going to happen next. So they just kept quiet and stared at each other. Then Tony sighed and with a rapid movement of his hand caused the elevator to move again.

For the rest of the day, a thick fog divided the two agents, unable to look or talk to each other.

**

* * *

**

_I'll never fall asleep tonight, _Tony thought, changing his position in the bed once again. Her words kept sounding in his mind like an echo. He couldn't help thinking about what had happened.

He felt so many things that was impossible for him to focus on just one feeling. He felt angry, and then sad, then he regretted everything he had said, and then he thought about all the things that he should have added.

It hadn't been the first time they had quarreled. There had been other fights, like the one in the elevator, that time when he had told her "I'm tired of pretending" and the one in Israel, of course, when she had almost shot him in his chest. The more he thought about all their fights, though, the more he got convinced that there was just one thing behind them: their care for each other and their _love_ for each other.

Two years earlier, in the elevator, he had gotten angry with her because he knew that she hadn't followed the order they were given because he had gotten hurt and he knew why she had reacted. And he was angry, just like Ziva was angry now. He didn't want people to lie to them, of course, and this was a reason why he was angry; but above all, it was because of what had happened why they had been found and he had been punched.

At that time, he wasn't aware of his feelings for her and they still scared him. He was watching something that was happening inside of him and he didn't know how to react. When Ziva had attacked the men, he had realized that something was changing, work wasn't their priority anymore. There was something, something that Tony didn't know what to call at the time. Maybe the same thing was happening to Ziva now. Maybe she was realizing that things had changed and she felt the same as him, and maybe she felt that "something" too. Maybe she felt that something that Tony had learned to call "love".

_Love._

Love wasn't supposed to be easy, he knew. But it was getting harder and harder to handle. And the fact that he didn't know what Ziva felt for him… it made everything even more difficult.

He didn't know what he would say. He didn't know what to do. He just knew that between the two of them, a fire was burning. He had admitted that he had made that mistake because he cared about her. It had been a big step. But Ziva still couldn't accept it. She was scared, he knew. She was scared of what was happening, just like he had been two years before.

He wanted to talk to her, calmly, without yelling at each other. He wanted to talk to her and to tell her all things that were bursting out in his chest. He needed her to know what he felt for her; but when he thought about her reaction, he felt insecure. He didn't want to lose everything they had. The biggest problem was this, after all: they knew they cared about each other and after their latest fight, it wasn't a secret anymore. But Tony… Tony didn't know if she wanted what he wanted, he didn't know if Ziva's love for him was more than a friend-love. He didn't know, and he kept changing his position in his bed, lost in thoughts and fears.

_What's happening to us, Ziva? _he wondered, praying that she could hear his thoughts. But of course she couldn't and those words got lost in the middle of one of the longest nights of his life.

**

* * *

**

A week. A week that they spent avoiding each other. A week that they spent without joking nor chatting. A week that they spent being just coworkers.

_This is what she wants, right? _Tony kept thinking, pissed off. _This is what she wants. _

He knew that it wasn't the truth, though. He knew that she didn't want this. He wanted to do something, but his pride told him to wait for her to make the first move.

She did make the first move. She cornered him in the men's room and closed the door behind her. Tony wasn't even surprised to see her there.

"This cannot work," she said simply, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

Tony turned to face her and walked towards her. "Of course it can't," he said, giving a faint laugh. "But if I remember correctly, you thought that it didn't work before either."

"Before?"

"Before the other day." Ziva didn't say anything. "So now what?" Tony asked.

"I don't know," Ziva replied simply.

Tony nodded and stared at her eyes intensely. "You can't accept the fact that we are more important than our job." He saw the surprise on her face. "It's the truth, Ziva. I know why you got angry the other day. Because when I saw you wounded, work didn't matter."

Ziva kept quiet, stunned. Tony took a deep breath and continued. "We've gone too far, maybe. We have this strong… bond, now, and I won't let us destroy it." He smiled. "I care about you, Ziva. I care about us."

Inside of him, something happened. He felt the stone in his chest melt and he suddenly felt much lighter. He had told her those words. Everything was going to be fine again. Everything was going to be even better.

Tony enjoyed every little detail of Ziva's smile. "I care, too," she said, nodding slowly.

They stayed there for a few moments, still, uncertain if there was something left to be told. Tony wanted to take the chance and tell her much more, but after all, maybe what he had said had been enough. There would be a time for all the other things that needed to be told later.

So they left the bathroom and went back to work. The end of the day came fast and they soon found themselves home. Tony spent the evening on the couch, watching old movies, thinking about those moments in the men's room.

Ziva did the same. Her eyes looked at the words written in her book without understanding them because her mind was wandering somewhere else.

Yes, there were many other things to say, but what they had told each other was enough for now.

**p.s. Oh and thanks to my friend Alice who gave me a little inspiration for this chapter :)**


	4. A scar

**So, well, here is the fourth chapter :) I really hope my fanfiction is not getting worse... I'm currently writing the 8th chapter and I think it will be done in not more than two days :D**

**I hope you'll like this one too :)**

_**A scar**_

April came in a hurry. Weeks passed fast, one after another, and the team soon found themselves at the beginning of the spring. The weather was getting warmer and warmer, the sun shone much more often and the trees were becoming greener and greener. Nature smiled at the world, showing all its beauty.

The atmosphere of the spring was similar to what Tony felt inside of him. He was happy and her smile shone during the days that were flying by in front of his eyes.

They hadn't had arguments since the last one in the elevator. Everything was fine again.

But one day, she looked tense when she arrived at work. Tony knew that he wasn't the reason why she wasn't fine, but he couldn't help thinking about the possibility that he had done something wrong to her. That "thing" – to quote Ziva – that they had was precious, but yet fragile and Tony was always scared that he could ruin it. It was like a beautiful glass that could be dropped anytime. He didn't know if he would be able to put together the pieces if the glass shattered.

Anyways, as minutes passed, he was getting more and more convinced that it was not because of him, if she was this tense. She didn't talk as much as she usually did, but she was always ready to address him with a smile after he told a joke or said something nice. Even though he wasn't the reason, he was worried. She wasn't very good at hiding her feelings, at least not from him. Tony wanted to know what was bothering her and he had the feeling that Ziva needed - and maybe wanted – to be helped.

The opportunity arose when Gibbs sent them to question some witnesses in Norfolk. It was a long journey and Tony was the one who was driving. Ziva hadn't even protested when he had said, "I'm driving" and took the keys. There was definitely something in her mind, something that was haunting her.

They both kept quiet during all through the journey. Ziva looked outside the window and Tony focused on the street in front of him, gazing at her quite often.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked, when they found themselves stuck in a jam.

Ziva looked at him for a moment. "Nothing, I am okay," she murmured, trying to smile. Her smile was so sad, though, that it made him even more worried.

"Hey, no, I'm serious." Tony looked at her intensely.

Ziva returned the look, then she sighed and got back to stare out of the window. "My father phoned me this morning… he is coming here in a week."

Tony didn't say anything, waiting for her to keep talking, but she added nothing, so he spoke. "I hope there are no killers after him this time. I'm not really looking forward to have such a hard time trying to protect him, like what happened the last time he showed up in DC."

Ziva laughed lightly. "Well, he is the director of Mossad, so…" She paused for a moment and smiled. "He is going to travel escorted, anyways."

"Thank God."

The silence lasted a few seconds. Soon Tony asked, "So, what's the problem? I thought you had forgiven him."

Ziva leaned her head on the window. "I have."

"And…?"

"And I do not know if I am ready for this," she said, with a louder voice than before.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I have forgiven him, yes. But… letting him be part of my life… it is something bigger." She nodded. In the meantime, the traffic had reduced and Tony was finally able to drive again. "I am not the best at letting people be a part of my life," she added, with a sad tone of voice.

Tony tried to cheer her up. "You're not the worst, either," he told her, smiling at her. Ziva stared at him with a questioning look. "Gibbs," he said, smirking at her. Ziva laughed lightly.

For the rest of the journey, neither of them said anything. They soon reached the witnesses' house and Tony parked the car in front of it.

"I think you should give him a chance," he said, smiling at her, before going out of their car. Ziva smiled too and thought she would follow his advice after all.

**

* * *

**

He sat on the couch and closed his eyes, letting all the tiredness slip away from him. It had been a tough day and a tough night. He hadn't slept for more than twenty-four hours and he felt worn out. He couldn't fall asleep, though. His thoughts were still haunting him.

Ziva had left a few hours before them. Gibbs had let her go because she had been invited to dinner by her father for that night. Gibbs wasn't the kind of boss who let their agents go out from the Navy Yard before the job was done, but he had made an exception, though, maybe because he know how important it was for Ziva.

And this was why Tony couldn't sleep. He couldn't help picturing in his mind Ziva at dinner with her father. He could almost _see _her wonderful dress that left the shoulders uncovered. He could almost _feel _the embarrassment between the two of them. He wondered what they were doing, what they were talking about. Probably they were chatting about the old good times while eating falafels.

_Oh, come on Tony, you know they aren't, _he told himself. _He has many other things to tell her…_

Yes, he had, and Tony hoped he wouldn't miss the chance to tell her all she needed to hear. This was why Tony had suggested her to give him a chance. He wanted Eli to talk to her. However, Tony still wasn't sure if forgiving her father had been the best choice for Ziva. Maybe she should have just pushed him away and forgotten about him.

_After all he's done to her... _he thought, feeling the anger burning inside of him. There were scars on her body, he knew it, and there were scars inside of her. Tony wasn't ready to forgive the man who had somehow caused her so much pain. And he wasn't only thinking about Somalia; he was also thinking about her past in the Mossad, the killer that she had become because of her father.

_She wouldn't be here if he hadn't made her become a killer. _

This thought came up in his mind and scared him. It was the truth, though, and he had to admit it. So… did he have to thank Eli for raising up his daughter as a killer? Otherwise, Tony would have never met her. But he couldn't let himself think about this. It wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want Ziva to suffer and he wished she hadn't suffered that much through her life. He would have never met her, yes; but her happiness mattered much more than his own.

However, that thought refused to let him go and he spent the night staring at the ceiling, wondering what his life would have been like without her.

**

* * *

**

The following day, he was even more anxious to see her than usual. He arrived to the Navy Yard half an hour earlier than the other days. When Ziva got into the bullpen, he saw a curious and surprised expression on her face that made her look even more beautiful.

"Hello, Ziva," Tony said, with a giant smile. She smiled back and sat at her desk; then she started to work. Tony studied her for a few minutes. She looked relaxed. Things with her father were probably fine. He wanted to know much more, though, and he had to repress the instinct that almost made him get up and go to talk to her.

An hour passed and Gibbs phoned McGee and ordered him to go to MTAC. Tony and Ziva were now alone in the bullpen.

"So, how did the big dinner go?" Tony asked, still looking at the screen of his computer.

"The food was fine," she replied with a smirk.

Tony gave a faint laugh. "I'm sure it was." A moment later, his expression was serious again. "No, really, how did it go?"

Ziva understood that she couldn't avoid the question for much longer. "It went well… He was… nice," she murmured and Tony barely heard her words.

"So… everything's fine now?" he asked, looking at her.

"No, it is not…" she said, with a sad smile on her lips. Before Tony could say anything, Ziva added, "Everything was fine last night and yes, I think maybe I will let him be part of my life."

"So what's not fine?"

She kept quiet for a moment. "It is not that easy, Tony," she said. "I cannot imagine what will happen by judging a single night. I guess I will wait and see."

Tony nodded. "Sounds like that's the best thing to do to me."

Ziva smiled and they got back to work.

**

* * *

**

Tony heard someone knocking at his door. He took a fast look at the clock: eleven pm. Then he got up. He walked slowly towards the door and, when he opened it, it took him some time to recognize the woman who was standing in front of him. It was so strange to see her there that he couldn't believe that she was _actually _there.

"Ziva?"

Ziva smiled faintly when he said her name. "Can I come in?"

He looked at her with his eyes open wide. "Huh? Yes, yes, come in."

She entered the house and Tony closed the door, looking at her back. It was so odd that she was there, in his house. They hadn't been at each other's places for more than a year. She looked somehow out of place in his home, and yet she made his home look much cozier and nicer. It was strange to see her there, but inside of him, Tony begged her not to ever leave.

Slowly, Ziva turned to face him and bit her lip. She opened her mouth but soon she closed it, uncertain whether she had to say something or not. She took a deep breath, and she told him, "Sorry, I should not have come."

Tony shook his head, smiling tensely. "No, no, it's okay. I'm… glad you're here."

Ziva smiled and started to look around. She noticed the high piles of DVDs at every corner of the room and she couldn't help smirking. "It has not changed much here," she said.

"Something has," he replied, looking at her intensely.

"Yeah, it's… a little messier than the last time I was here," she said with a smile. Tony smiled too.

"You think?"

Ziva shrugged her shoulders. "Yes."

"Well, I guess I.. I haven't had much time to tidy up, lately."

Ziva nodded and moved around the house. Tony followed her with his eyes. She seemed so confused and curious. He couldn't help thinking that it was… sweet to see her like this. But he needed to ask the question that had been wandering around his mind since she had gotten into his house.

"Ziva, I don't want to sound rude, but… why are you here?"

She looked at him and he could swear she was trembling a little. "I…" She made a strange movement with her hand trying to express in motions what she was thinking and feeling while trying to figure out what to say. "I was thinking about last night, about the dinner I had with my father…" She looked away, trying to avoid Tony's eyes. "And I realized that… It is not fine at all." She took a deep breath. "We only talked about… nice things. You know, memories from the past, like… birthdays or holidays… It was nice to talk to him about these things, but… It was not true."

Tony stared at her, lost in her words and in his own thoughts. He was listening to her carefully, but yet he was also thinking about the fact that she was _actually _opening up to him. It felt right, it felt good. He was happy, even if he was worried because of what she was saying, and all these mixed feelings were fighting in his chest.

Meanwhile, Ziva was still speaking. "It was not true because… we both avoided the things that we _really _needed to talk about. Neither of us mentioned Somalia, or Mossad, or my mother, or anything… Neither of us." She was now looking at him; maybe she expected him to say something, but Tony didn't really know what to say. So she continued, "How am I supposed to think that it can work between us if we can't even talk about things that really matter?" She started walking around the room, nervous. "I mean… I know why he left me in Somalia and I know why he did to me what he did… when I was a child and when I was a girl, but…" she shook her head, "I don't get why we cannot talk about this."

"Did you try?" Tony asked, a little scared to interrupt her monologue.

"No!" she yelled. "And this is the point! I did not want to! I wanted him to talk about that, maybe, but he did not! And of course I did not want to talk about it at first." She smiled sadly, shaking her head. "Things will never be okay between us if we do not talk about these things! Never!" Ziva took a deep breath. Talking that much had definitely made her tired.

Tony looked at her for some time before speaking. "Listen, Ziva, I… I'll be honest."

"This is exactly what I want from you," she said, nodding.

Tony gave a faint smile, then he got back to talk. "I think that… you should push him away."

"Tony, he is my father!" she protested.

"I know!" he shouted. Then he calmed down. "But above all, he's a man, and if you… if you don't think that things can work between the two of you… then why cause yourself more pain?"

"Because… "she started saying, but she stopped before adding anything else. She opened her mouth a little and shook her head. "I do not know."

"I'm not telling you not to see him again, Ziva. I'm not telling you that you should stop talking to him."

"You just told me to push him away…" she said, looking at the ceiling, her eyes full of doubts.

"I know, and I told much more than I should have."

"But is that what you think?" she demanded.

"No, it's not." Tony took a step towards her. "What I mean is… you don't need to have him in your life, after all. You don't. You can forgive him, you can. But there's no need to push things if they don't work. The two of you… Both of you have made different choices in your lives… You don't have to pretend that this isn't true. You don't have to act like you were the perfect father-daughter-relationship picture. You need to be you, and so does he. You need to move on. Your father.. your father can be a part of your life, but there's time. You don't need to get stressed if things don't work. Your life has changed a lot in the past few years… and maybe it got better. Don't let this ruin everything. Make the choice that will be the best for you."

Ziva was now staring at him, stunned. His words were all around her mind and she wasn't going to let them go. He had been so direct and honest with her. She was amazed.

Tony felt her eyes on him and looked a little embarrassed. "What?" he asked, giving a faint laugh.

"Nothing…" she said, smiling lightly.

They kept quiet for a few moments. There was an embarrassing silence.

"So, um… do you wanna stay?" he asked. Ziva opened her eyes widely. "I… I mean," Tony immediately said "for… uh, dinner, or something."

"I have already eaten," she replied with a smile.

Tony nodded. "Okay."

There was another silence.

"So… I guess I am leaving," Ziva said, after a whole minute of silence.

Tony forced himself to say an "okay" and showed her to the door. He opened it silently and waited for her to get out. "So, I'll, um… see you tomorrow," he murmured, looking at her.

Ziva nodded, smiling. "See you tomorrow." Then she left.

Tony shut the door behind him and leaned on it, closing his eyes. Suddenly, the weight of the conversation they had just had hung over him and he felt heavy.


	5. A touch

**Okay... so well, this is not my favorite chapter, actually I'm not very convinced about this so I really hope it's not bad...**

**I'm still writing the 8th chapter :D**

_**5. A touch**_

The following day, when Ziva arrived at work, Tony looked at her with apprehension. He had spent the last night thinking about their latest conversation, and the more he thought about that, the more he wondered if he had been too honest. Maybe it wasn't what Ziva needed, maybe she just needed to be comforted. Maybe she hadn't come to Tony's place for some advice.

_Come on, Tony, why would Ziva ever come to you for any advice?_

It wasn't impossible, after all. She knew he cared about her and maybe she also knew he was incapable of lying to her. Anyways, if she hadn't come to listen to some advice, then there was no reason why she would have come.

_Maybe I should have just hugged her_, he thought, and immediately realized that it was stupid. They had never hugged before and she definitely wouldn't come to his place just to be hugged. However, Tony didn't feel comfortable with the option of hugging her. Their bodies would have been too close and she would have felt his heart beating faster and faster. So, well, thank God she hadn't come to be hugged.

Lost in his thoughts, Tony followed Ziva with his eyes and saw her sitting on her chair.

Was he… flattered? Maybe. She had trusted him so much that she had come to him when she needed help. But in the meantime, he felt confused, because he couldn't imagine what the next move would be, and neither he could imagine who would make the move.

Do I have to tell her anything? Do I have… I don't know, to add anything? To say something else? These thoughts kept wandering around his mind.

In front of him, Ziva was just as confused as he was. She couldn't believe he had really told her those things, but she was happy because he had been that honest with her. Meanwhile, Ziva was also thinking about her father and what she was supposed to do with him. She cared about Eli, after all, of course she cared; but Tony was right, maybe it was impossible for them to have a normal father-daughter relationship, especially if neither of them was ready to talk.

They kept taking looks at each other, lowering their gazes when their eyes met. There was a little embarrassment between the two of them, but they also felt joined by the fact that – they knew it – they were both thinking about the same thing.

Tony had to admit that he liked that feeling.

* * *

Suddenly, Tony decided to talk to her. Driven by this decision, he waited for the right moment. When the opportunity arose, he cornered her below the stairs that lead to Vance's office and to MTAC.

"Hey, are you okay?" Tony asked her, looking at her intensely.

She exchanged the look and drew a light smile on her lips. "Yes, everything is fine," she said, nodding a little.

"Are you sure?" he asked, not completely convinced.

"Yes," she replied with a huge smile. Tony understood that it was the truth. She really looked fine. Her smile was beautiful and beaming and he couldn't help staring at it.

Ziva tried to go away: she turned her back to him and took a step. But Tony still had something to add. "Hey," he said, grabbing her hand gently. Ziva shivered and turned slowly. He was still holding her hand in such a sweet way that made her blush. Tony pretended not to have noticed it, but he smiled a little. He was surprised too by his own gesture. He had never touched her like that, he had rarely touched her in the past, actually. They had never been friends who loved hugging or touching each other. They just didn't have a physical relationship.

However, Tony was amazed to find out that, after all, his gesture seemed natural now. Neither of them felt like it was out of place and they could see this feeling in each other's eyes.

"Have you already talked to your father?" he asked slowly, letting go of her hand. Ziva could still feel the warmth of his hand on hers and it took her some time before she was finally able to speak again.

"No but, I…. I do not think I will," Ziva said, smiling a little, trying to ignore the feelings that were screaming in her chest. Tony opened his mouth to protest, but Ziva was faster than him and added, "What you told me… it was true. We cannot pretend that things will work easily…. However, I am not going to tell him because…" She paused for a moment. "Because, after all, we both know that. I mean, my father and I. We know that. We live too far away from each other. There is no way we are going to have a normal father-daughter relationship, and…" Ziva opened her mouth but she didn't say anything else.

"You don't want to make him suffer," Tony concluded for her, smiling lightly. Ziva stared right into his eyes, feeling a little naked in front of him. He had already understood everything.

"Maybe," she said simply.

They were now both smiling at each other. Ziva felt like she had to add something else, so she gathered her thoughts and said at once. "Thank you for listening… last night." Tony smiled widely. "It was very nice of you… I had not even phoned you to tell you I was coming… It was kind of rude, I know, I apologize, and…"

"No, it's okay." Tony nodded, and smiled reassuringly. He could feel her embarrassment. She had opened up to him and he hoped she didn't regret doing that. But he could understand why now she felt embarrassed. Even though they had always been very close, they weren't used to share their feelings with the other; and then, she had never been very good at opening up with people. He was glad she had done that with him.

Ziva bit her lip and lowered her eyes. "You have been… very helpful," she said, nodding.

"I'm always here to be helpful… and, I'm also at home if you need me when I'm not here. So you know where to find me." Tony smiled widely.

Ziva narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out whether he was mocking her or not. "Okay," she murmured, then she smiled and left. Tony watched her going away, with a joyful expression on his face.

* * *

Even when everything was perfect between the two of them at work, as soon as he got back home, Tony felt pressed to the floor by his doubts and his fears. Tony looked around his home, trying to find something that could give him a handful of happiness, but he found nothing. He lived his life through work, he had nothing else left and he realized that every night when he came back home. He hated the silence that filled the rooms, he hated the dark and, above all, he hated the laughter and the noises coming from the outside.

How many steps did he still have to take? He knew that it wouldn't be easy, but as days passed, he felt lonelier and lonelier and coming back home was getting harder and harder every night. He had found balance at work. He just enjoyed all the wonderful moments he and Ziva shared, he laughed with McGee, and he had fun with Abby. He was fine. He now needed to find balance in his life. He needed to have something to live for not only at work.

And it was her, it was her, he knew it. It wasn't easy, though. He had always been told to never mix private life and work and, now that he wanted to do that, he realized why everyone was against it. It wasn't easy. It could lead who knows where. He was full of doubts, full of what-ifs, and fears.

_What if she doesn't return my feelings? _This was the big trouble, this was the question he kept focusing on. This thought haunted him and followed him wherever he went. There was nothing to do, nowhere to go. That thought was still there.

That night, another voice joined that thought. The same old excuses, the voice told him as soon as he closed his eyes.

_What excuses?_

_You know what excuses_, the voice said angrily.

Then it became shriller, like it was mocking someone. _Oh, what if she doesn't feel the same? What if I ruin everything?_ It started yelling_. Get over your fears!_

_It's easy for you, huh?_ Tony asked sharply.

_Why should it ever be difficult?_

_It's…_ Tony stopped before finishing the sentence.

_You are a coward!_ the voice peeped. _You are a coward! You are a coward! You are a coward!_

_Stop it!_ Tony screamed in his head, getting up from the couch. "Great, I'm going crazy," he said, passing a hand through his hair.

_You are not crazy._ Her words sounded in his mind and hushed the annoying voice.

Tony smiled, relieved, feeling much more relaxed. _It's okay_, he thought. _It's all okay_.

He went to bed and lay there a few minutes before falling asleep. However, somewhere in his mind, the voice kept murmuring its accusations.

They hurt.


	6. A night

**Sixth chapter :) Here it is. I just finished writing the last one, the eight :D**

**Anyway, I hope you'll like this one! Thank you all for your nice reviews!**

_**6. A night**_

They had been working on their case reports all morning. It was a quite boring day, Tony wasn't even in the mood to make lots of jokes, so the hours passed slowly. Nobody had seen Gibbs yet, but there was no chance he hadn't come to work. Gibbs never got sick and, above all, he never missed a day of work. At midday, he finally showed up in the bullpen, walking in a rush towards his desk.

"DiNozzo, David," he said, taking a quick glance at the two agents. "Director Vance is waiting for you in his office." Tony and Ziva exchanged a look.

Then Tony turned his face to Gibbs and asked, getting up, "Is something wrong?"

Gibbs smirked, but he didn't raise his head from the screen. "I don't know, DiNozzo. Why don't you go in there and find out?"

"Right, boss," Tony immediately said. He waited for Ziva to get up then they both went up the stairs without talking. They both wondered why Vance had called them and they hoped it wasn't something bad.

As soon as they reached Vance's office, the secretary announced their arrival to Vance. They knocked then they entered the room.

Vance was sitting at his desk. He welcomed the agents with a nod, then he started talking. "The SecNav and I have been invited to a party. There will be a lot of directors of different agencies and we can't exclude the option that there might be… disorders." Tony and Ziva nodded slowly, exchanging a quick look. "I expect the two of you to come with me and to escort me."

"Sure, Director," Tony said for both of them.

Vance got up. "I want you to be here before nineteen hundred. We're leaving for the restaurant together. While we're there, I expect you not to be under my feet, but to have a look around and to notice and report whatever strange thing's happening that catches you eyes, okay?"

"Yes, Director," Tony said, with his arms crossed over his chest.

Vance didn't say anything for two seconds, then he spoke. "Okay, you can go."

The two agents nodded and walked towards the door. Before they left the office, Vance told them, "Oh, and don't forget the evening dress."

* * *

For the first time in her life, Ziva didn't know what to wear. She kept looking at all her dresses in the wardrobe, trying to figure out which one would be better for the night. She was actually quite confused because of her indecision. Why did she care that much? Why was that so important that night?

_Tony._

She immediately swept away that thought from her mind and went back focusing on the dresses.

This _one is too short. _This_ one is too low-cut at the front. I can only imagine what comments Tony would do if he saw me in _this_. _

There he was again, in her mind, influencing her choices on the dress.

_Great, _Ziva thought, even though she had to admit to herself that, after all, she was waiting for the moment when Tony would see her.

_You are so vain, _she thought with a smile. She wasn't sure it was vanity, though. Maybe she just wanted to feel… _liked _by him. However, she was confused. She had never felt like this before.

* * *

Tony was rather nervous. He kept moving around, looking at nothing in particular, adjusting his jacket and tie. He felt hot, even though it was quite cold that night. He couldn't help looking at his watch every minute, seeing how seconds passed without her being there. Ziva wasn't late, though. It was still only eighteen thirty, so there was no reason why she would have been already there.

_Then why am I already here? _he wondered. The answer was simple: he couldn't just stay home any longer. He was even more tense at home. Ziva wasn't the only reason, though. He was also concerned about the work he had to do: he knew that something could go wrong, there was always the possibility that something bad could happen. It was a big dinner between important and powerful people, the best chance for terrorists to kill a bunch of them.

Suddenly, Ziva arrived. Tony didn't even notice her at first. He wasn't watching the street when she got out of her car, so he only saw her when she said, "Hi," to him. He turned slowly.

It took him a few moments to pin her down. Tony was dazzled by her beauty and he let himself take a quick look at her dress. It was simple, but yet wonderful. It looked amazing on her, _she _looked amazing. He had to try his hardest to control himself and he succeeded. Ziva didn't even seem to have noticed the dreamy way he had been looking at her. Which was a good thing. _Maybe._

"So, uh… where is Vance?" Ziva asked, looking around, trying to see the director in the dark.

"He phoned me a few minutes ago… He's coming in about ten minutes, then we'll be ready to leave," Tony replied, still looking at her. Ziva bit her lip and nodded, while Tony was taking a deep breath.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Tony stuck an open-faced salmon sandwich in his mouth and started to munch.

"Oh, yoo aav too troy thos, Zova," he said, still chewing the sandwich.

Ziva gave him a dirty look. "Has anyone taught you that you must not speak while you are eating?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. However, she let slip a smile. Tony swallowed and took another canapé.

"Hey, try one of these. They're delicious," he said, giving it to Ziva. She shook her head and didn't take it. "Why not?" Tony protested, with a scowl.

"Because, like I told you last time we had to protect our director during a dinner, we are not here to eat," Ziva said, smirking and taking a look at Vance.

Tony leaned on a column. Some few seconds passed."Everything seems fine, right?" he asked, looking around. His eyes stopped on Ziva, who was still observing the hall.

"Yes, it does," she replied with a nod. Suddenly, she noticed that Tony was staring at her. "What?" she asked sharply, trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Nothing," Tony lied, immediately looking somewhere else. He noticed that Vance was staring at him and he wondered what was wrong. With a small movement of his hand, Vance made him understand that he wanted to talk to Tony. The agent left Ziva near the dining table and walked towards him.

"Everything okay, Director?" Tony asked, worried as soon as he reached the older man.

"Yes," Vance said, staring right into his eyes. "I just need to go upstairs with the SecNav."

"Do you want us to come with you?"

"No, I'll be fine," Vance answered. "The SecNav has his own escort, anyways."

"Okay." Tony nodded. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes." Vance paused for a moment. "As long as I'll be upstairs, you and Agent David can have a break."

"Thank you," Tony replied, nodding again and smiling a little. Vance didn't return his smile. He just left and Tony went back to Ziva.

"So, what did Vance say?" Ziva asked as soon as Tony was near enough to hear her.

"He needs to go upstairs with the SecNav and he wants us to have a break," Tony answered with a huge smile. Ziva didn't say anything. "So, uh… what about going out on the balcony?" Tony asked, with his hands in the pockets of the trousers.

"I do not know, it might be a little too cold outside…" Ziva said, bending her head a little.

"Oh, come on." Tony laughed. "Is Ziva David _actually _afraid of cold?"

"I am not afraid of cold," Ziva protested. "I just like warm more."

"Okay. I'll go alone, then." Tony started to move towards the French window. Ziva snorted and she followed him.

Outside it was as cold as she expected. It was May, but there was a strong cold wind that made her shiver. Tony had just leaned on the railing and was looking at the skyline of the city. There was a beautiful view of DC from there.

"It's wonderful, huh?" Tony asked, feeling her presence behind him.

Ziva leaned on the railing too, beside him. "Yes, it is…" she murmured, looking at the scenery.

Tony turned his face a little, just to be able to look at her. Ziva exchanged the look. He didn't really know what to say. There were too many thoughts in his mind and he felt like he just needed to say a few words, but at the same time, he felt like there weren't enough words to express his feelings. In particular, there were a few words that begged him to be said, but he just couldn't let himself told her those words.

_You're so beautiful._

Of course, he'd already told her she was beautiful, but right now it would be totally different. They wouldn't be words pronounced in the middle of a conversation. It would be a deep thought, with a deep meaning. He didn't know if he was ready to say it, and he didn't mean to embarrass her either. So he just kept quiet.

The silence became more and more awkward as time passed. Tony was now determined to say something.

"You were right, it's quite cold," he told her, and soon he realized that, for the first time in his whole life, he had said something about the weather to start a conversation.

Ziva nodded. They were still looking at each other. Tony saw her shivering and he wondered whether she was just cold or thrilled. She turned her face and went back staring at the view of Washington DC. The wind made her hair stream and Tony smiled while looking at it. Her hair was a little messy now because of the wind. Ziva tried to adjust it, but the wind was so strong that it was just impossible. Soon they were both laughing, amused by heir weird hairdo and by her tries to adjust it. Their laughter faded into smiles and they were now staring at each other intensely.

Without moving his gaze from her, Tony murmured, "What a great night, huh?"

A wonderful little smile showed up on Ziva's lips. "Yes, it is…" she agreed. Their gaze became more and more intense and Tony could see her eyes shining. He heard a voice inside of him, a sweet voice this time, a voice that told him to break the distance between their lips. Looking at her, he thought that he would probably listen to the voice, after all. As soon as he made up his mind and started to lean closer, a voice coming from behind them said, "DiNozzo."

Tony almost had a heart attack. He rapidly turned and saw Vance standing just outside the French window. Ziva turned to face Vance as well, still trying to adjust her hair and, if Tony had looked at her, he would have seen her blushing a little. Tony moved towards the director, a little afraid that Vance had seen _too much. _

"Yes, director?" he asked, standing right in front of him.

"I need you to do some work for me," Vance told him, staring at him carefully.

"Sure." Tony nodded, crossing his arms. Vance took a quick look at Ziva, who was a few feet away from them, pretending not to be listening to the conversation. Then the director went back to stare at Tony. "USS Ronald Reagan."

Tony felt the world falling apart around him. _USS Ronald Reagan. _That name reminded him of one of the worst times of his life. However, before he could say anything, Vance added, maybe noticing his reaction, "You aren't going to spend more than a few weeks this time."

_A few weeks… _

These words were both reassuring and scaring. He was afraid he would be reassigned, but "a few weeks" meant a fast job, not a permanent one.

Meanwhile, "a few weeks" also meant a lot of time, anyways, especially now that things were that good with Ziva.

"Someone's stealing files on that ship. Classified files," Vance explained. "We have to catch whoever's responsible. We can't let him sell those files. You're going to that ship to do some investigations. We need to know who he is and who he's planning to sell those files to."

"Sure," Tony said again.

"I'll give you all the details tomorrow…" Vance added. "Come to my office as soon as you arrive at the Navy Yard." Tony nodded while Vance paused for a moment, before saying, "We'd better go back inside now." He turned and Ziva followed him, taking a final quick glance at Tony, who returned the look and went after her.


	7. A ship

**Here is the second last chapter :) the following one is already ready :D it's just waiting to be posted ;D**

**I also wrote another fic, a oneshot this time, and I'll post it now :)**

**Thank you all for your reviews 3**

_**A ship**_

Tony wasn't sitting at his desk when Ziva arrived at work. She wasn't expecting to see him, anyways. Of course he wouldn't arrive later; he was probably already in Vance's office, listening to his instructions.

The previous night they had come back home at about two in the morning; she wasn't tired, though. She was just confused. She couldn't help thinking about those moments on the balcony… for just one second she had had the feeling that Tony wanted to _kiss _her. She pushed away that thought and got back to focusing on her work, taking quick glances at the stairs every now and then.

When Ziva saw him going down the stairs, she welcomed him with a smile and he smiled back.

"Hey," Tony said, sitting down on his chair, smiling at her again. Ziva wasn't sure what to say. She felt the need to ask him the details of his mission, but yet she was afraid he wouldn't be able to tell her anything. So she just asked, "So, uh… when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," Tony answered, looking at her for a moment. Ziva returned the look, but she added nothing. They got back to work and didn't talk for awhile.

* * *

Tony had spent the day thinking about the job he would do on the _USS Seahawk_. It seemed quite easy, after all: he just had to spend some time aboard, trying to figure out who was stealing classified information. When he found out, he just had to inform Vance, who would send some other agents to help him to catch the man. However, Vance had informed him it was quite a risky job: they didn't know who the man was, they didn't know how dangerous he was. Anything could happen; he had to be careful.

But this wasn't the only thought in Tony's mind. He couldn't stop thinking about the previous night.

_God, I almost kissed her. _He almost thanked Vance for having to interrupt them. It wasn't the right moment, now it was clear. They both would have felt embarrassed and… no, it was definitely _not _the right moment.

He was so angry with himself. He had lost control just seeing her in all her beauty and sweetness. It had been a mistake to try to kiss her, he knew it. They just weren't ready.

The hours passed and Tony soon found himself at home, packing. He put clothes and shoes in the suitcase, still thinking of _her. _While he was cooking dinner, his eyes stopped on one of the photos that were hung on the wall. It was a picture of both of them. Abby had taken it during the last dinner they had had at her place. Ziva had a wonderful smile and Tony was taking a quick glance at her, a glance that the camera had captured. It was a beautiful photo. Tony took it and put it into the suitcase.

* * *

They didn't talk much the following morning. They just kept taking looks at each other. Tony tried to understand what Ziva's eyes were hiding, but she was keeping all her emotions inside and she didn't let any part of her body reveal them. Tony kept looking at his watch, seeing how hours passed and how the departure was getting closer and closer. He felt the need to tell her something before leaving, so he caught the moment when she went to the bathroom and he followed her.

Tony entered the women's room behind her. However, Ziva didn't notice him – or pretended to haven't noticed him – until he closed the door behind him and locked it.

Ziva turned to look at him and smiled lightly. "So, you are leaving in an hour, yes?"

"Yes," Tony answered nodding, staring at her carefully. They didn't say anything for a few moments. "I… I don't know if I will be able to phone you when I'm there…" he murmured, without stopping looking at her.

"It is okay," Ziva immediately said, smiling. There was a shadow of sadness on her face and Tony didn't miss it. He sighed and opened his mouth to add something, but Ziva was faster than him. "I hope it will not be too dangerous," she admitted, still smiling a little, with a worried shine in her eyes.

"I'll… I'll be careful," Tony promised, nodding and returning the smile. "And I hope it won't take me a lot of time to… to find out who's stealing classified files. I'd love to be home in not more than a week." He smiled widely, reassuringly.

"It won't be that easy, Tony."

Ziva bit her lip and suddenly Tony felt the need to tell her all those words he had been hiding from her. But "I'll be fine" was all he managed to say.

Ziva sighed and nodded. "You'd better go now," she said. "Vance must be waiting for you in his office."

Tony waited for a few moments before speaking. "Yeah, yeah, I should go," he said. They both smiled at each other and Tony turned. Before going out, he faced her again and said, "I'll try to call you."

Ziva nodded with a smile. "I will be waiting for your call."

Tony returned the smile, then he left.

* * *

A week later, Tony was lying on his bed, listening to the sound of the sea coming from the outside. It was night and the ship was silent, rocket by the waves. However, he couldn't fall asleep because he was too lost in his thoughts. It had been a week since the last time he had seen her. It had been a week since the last time he had spoken to her. He had never missed anyone as much as he missed Ziva then. She was always in his thoughts, stuck in his mind with her beautiful smile. The distance between the two of them was killing him. He couldn't even phone her as long as he was on the ship. However, even if he could have called her, he wouldn't have known what to say. He just _knew _that he would phone her as soon as he could.

He didn't know how much longer he had to stay on the damn ship. He had almost figured out who the traitor was, but he needed to be sure. If he had caught the wrong guy, they real responsible person would escape. He couldn't let that happen.

Tony heard some voices coming from the narrow corridor of the ship, just outside his cabin. He looked at the clock. It was 2300 hours. He stretched his arm to grab something that had been lying on his suitcase since the first moment he had been on the ship. He stared at the photos for minutes, focusing on Ziva's smile, trying to save in his mind every little detail of her beautiful face. He missed her, and sometimes he felt the need to phone her and tell her.

However, he didn't think he would have been enough courageous to say, "I miss you."

* * *

A week. That week the office had been much more silent than usually. Tony's jokes were missing; his random and pointless words were missing. Everyone missed him. Ziva could see McGee in a worse mood than his usual happy self. He pretended to be happy because he could finally "work without hearing Tony's annoying voice," but she _knew, _and McGee knew it as well, that he missed him. They had been trying to calm down Abby, who was afraid that Tony would never come back. Ziva knew that he would come back some day, that he would come back very soon, but Abby's fears affected Ziva as well, and she started wondering what would happen if Tony couldn't figure out who the traitor was soon.

Sometimes, Ziva found herself staring at Tony's empty desk and she felt her heart moaning like a tummy that needs to be fed. She missed him and she was worried, so worried that she felt like screaming and going to save him. Not knowing what he was doing, not knowing _how _he was doing made her feel even worse. She knew he was fine. Otherwise she would have been told that something had happened to him. But this true fact wasn't reassuring her. What if the man Tony was looking for killed him?

Suddenly, Gibbs came into the bullpen. Ziva pushed away these thoughts and went back to focus on her work.

* * *

One day, Tony phoned Vance. He had found out who was stealing classified files from the ship. Vance immediately went into the bullpen and informed Gibbs' team of the news. Ziva felt relieved; Tony was fine and he was going to come back home soon. Vance also informed them that he was going to send some other agents to help Tony to catch the man. In fact, they didn't only have to arrest him; they also had to find out who wanted to buy those files because they had to be arrested as well. It wasn't a job for only one person.

"I think I'll send you, Agent David," Vance said, looking at her.

"Of course," she replied immediately, feeling excited about the idea of seeing Tony very soon.

"You're leaving tomorrow, then," Vance continued. "The ship is going to dock today and it's leaving again tomorrow. You'll be on that ship a few hours after its departure."

Ziva nodded and took a quick glance at Gibbs who looked a little nervous; he didn't like it when the director sent his own agents around the world.

"Come to my office before leaving," Vance said, still looking at Ziva. "I'll give you all the details you'll need."

"Yes, Director," Ziva nodded, then she watched Vance leaving.

* * *

Ziva was finishing packing her things when she heard the phone ringing. She hoped it wasn't Gibbs who was calling to tell her he needed her at work. She didn't feel like working. She just wanted to have some rest before the long trip that was waiting for her. She moved towards the table where she had left the phone and answered.

"David," she said.

"Ziva?" The voice gave her a start.

"Tony?" she asked, even though she knew for sure it was him. It was definitely his voice, a voice she had missed so much.

"How… how are you?" Tony asked, sounding a little embarrassed. Ziva didn't say anything at first. She was too surprised to open her mouth.

"I am… I am fine," she said when she was able to reorder her thoughts. "What about you? Are you okay?" she asked then.

"Yes," Tony said. "We… we just arrived at the harbor. I'm off the ship now. We're leaving again tomorrow morning."

"Oh," Ziva murmured, while trying to find something better to say. He had left her speechless. She wasn't expecting him to phone her _for real._ "I hope it is a nice place," she told him, smiling even if he couldn't see her.

"Well, it's quite hot here, you know… but yes, it's a nice place," Tony said. He paused for a moment, then he added, "I couldn't phone you when I was on the ship."

"I… I know…" Ziva said, biting her lip.

"But I wish I could have phoned you," he added and she almost could see what the expression on his face was like at that moment. She knew him too well. "I wanted to know how you were doing and… you know, to hear your voice."

Ziva blushed a little, then she took a deep breath. "I am glad you called." She bit her lip once again, then she said, "I have been wondering if you were alright. I understand it is quite a dangerous job."

"It is," Tony admitted. "That man is… quite violent. He's had a problem with almost everyone on the ship, even with the cook. He's really a bad guy." Ziva didn't say anything, lost in his words. So he _was _in danger. She hadn't worried _too _much over nothing. "I'm fine, though," Tony said a few moments later to reassure her. "You don't have to worry about me…"

"I know," Ziva smiled lightly.

Tony kept quiet for a moment. "I can see your smile," Tony murmured and his words made her blush once again. Why was it so easy for him to understand her even if he was that far away from her? "So, what are you wearing right now?" Tony asked suddenly after a long embarrassed silence.

Ziva was stunned. "Why… why are you asking?"

"I'm just trying to picture you in my mind," Tony replied simply. "Come on, tell me."

Ziva laughed. "Well, uh… I am wearing a pair of grey trousers and a brown t-shirt."

"Sound cute," Tony said, laughing a little. "And what are you doing?"

"Talking to you."

"Seriously."

"Packing."

"Oh," Tony murmured.

"I am coming there… Vance assigned me to the team that is coming to help you," Ziva explained.

Tony didn't say anything for a moment, then he asked, "So we are seeing each other tomorrow…"

Now she _really_ could see him smiling. "Yes, we are," Ziva said, smiling as well.

"That's great!" Tony was now laughing with happiness. "That's really great." He paused for a moment. "Just… don't forget to put McGee in your suitcase, okay? I'm sure he misses me."

"He does," Ziva said, and Tony stopped laughing.

"I was… I was just joking," he stuttered.

"I was not." Ziva smiled again.

Tony didn't speak for awhile. "And do you miss me too?" he asked then, with a serious tone. Ziva bit her lip.

"Yes," she said, closing her eyes, waiting for his reply. Somewhere in the world, he was smiling, she could swear it.

"So do I," he said. They both kept quiet for many seconds.

Suddenly, Tony said, "I really have to go now, Ziva." She could hear the sorrow in his voice, the same sorrow as she was feeling.

"Then… see you tomorrow," she murmured.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

The call ended. Ziva kept staring at her cell for few moments, then she decided to go to bed. She lay in her bed for dozens of minutes before falling asleep. His words and his voice were stuck in her mind. Now, she was looking forward to seeing his face too.

* * *

Ziva couldn't stand the noise of the plane anymore. She had spent the whole journey trying to sleep and to push away her thoughts. She needed silence in her mind. She had been thinking about Tony in those hours and her brain almost physically hurt. She would get to see him in just a few minutes. The plane had almost reached the _USS Seahawk_. Only a few miles separated Ziva from Tony. She was as happy as a child on Christmas and her feelings confused her a little. She had never felt like this before. She was _really _excited and she was daydreaming about that moment. And they only had been far away from each other for eight days.

Suddenly, the little plane landed on the ship. Ziva heard a loud noise and after a few seconds the plane stopped. She was on the _USS Seahawk_. She jumped off the plane in a hurry, trying to hide her excitement from the other agents that had come with her. The captain of the ship ran towards her and he introduced himself to Ziva. Ziva did the same.

They went inside the ship. When the noise of the plane stopped, Ziva felt much better. Her headache stopped and she found herself smiling with happiness.

"I am here to see Agent DiNozzo," she told the captain. The man frowned and took a deep breath.

"Agent DiNozzo is no longer aboard, Miss."


	8. A life

**So... here it is, the last chapter :) I want to thank my beta reader, Megan, who helped me :D you are so kind, thank you so much.**

**Anyway, I really hope you'll like the ending :D**

_**8. A life**_

"Agent DiNozzo is no longer aboard, Miss."

Ziva felt the world falling apart around her. "What?" she asked, trying to control the trembling tone of her voice.

"He didn't come back to the ship this morning," the captain explained, looking at her.

"You… did you wait for him?" Ziva asked, shocked.

"Yes, we did," the captain replied. "We waited for almost an hour. Then we had to leave." Ziva was speechless. Before she could protest, the captain added, "Listen, Miss. Our mission is important, we can't afford to stop for more than a few hours in a harbor. We have our priorities."

Ziva shook her head. "This is absurd."

The captain didn't say anything for a few moments, then he spoke again. "Actually, Agent DiNozzo isn't the only one who didn't come back to the ship this morning."

"Who else did not return?" Ziva asked.

"One of my men… Ristler. Hamish Ristler."

_Hamish Ristler_. The name sounded awfully familiar to Ziva. Then she remembered. Ristler was the man that had stolen those files, the man that Tony had indicated as the traitor. She repressed her worry and asked the captain how she could get to the harbor. The captain told her that he would have the plane prepared for the trip. Ziva nodded and thanked him.

When the captain left, she walked towards a Marine and asked him, "Can you tell me where Agent DiNozzo's cabin is?" If she had to wait before leaving, she would wait in his cabin, looking for something helpful. The Marine told her where the cabin was and she reached it in a few minutes. Ziva opened the door slowly. The cabin was small and almost empty. There was only a camp bed and a suitcase on the floor. She knelt and looked at Tony's suitcase. It was in a mess and it made her smile.

Then she saw a photo that had been put on the suitcase and her heart skipped a beat. She took the photo in her hands and stared at it. She had never seen it before, even if she remembered the moment when I had been taken. She caressed Tony's face with her finger, smiling at the way he was looking at the Ziva in the photo. It was wonderful to see him looking at her like that, but yet the photo filled her heart with sadness.

Suddenly, a man opened the door of the cabin and gave Ziva a start. She rapidly put the photo in her rucksack and stood up.

"There's someone who wants to talk to you on the phone," the Marine said.

"Who?" Ziva asked.

"Agent DiNozzo."

* * *

Ziva rushed towards the phone and picked it up. "Tony," she gasped, relieved.

"Ziva." His voice sounded relieved as well, but also tired.

"Whe… where are you?" Ziva asked, the worry still haunting her.

"I'm in… I don't even know the name of this city is," Tony replied. "I'm… near the harbor where the ship docked yesterday."

"Why are you still there?" Ziva was almost angry.

"Ziva, I'm fine," Tony answered, understanding what she was worried about. "I had to stay here."

"Why?" she asked, trying to repress the mixed feelings inside of her.

"Ristler. He's here too," Tony explained.

"Why did he not leave?" Ziva asked, confused.

"The man who's planning to sell the files to… he's here, in town.."

Ziva was stunned. "You… how do you know?"

"I've been following Ristler since last night," Tony replied. "I heard Ristler talking to a man on the phone. He called him… Iceman. It must be his code name or something. Anyways, they're going to meet tonight at 2000, in a bar, The Haunting Fox."

"I do not think I will be there on time, Tony," Ziva said, shaking her head.

"I know, but it's the only chance we have to catch them both," Tony replied, calmly. "You know that way of saying… to kill two birds with one stone."

"No."

"How is it possible you have never heard of this way of saying, Ziva?" Tony laughed. "You've been living in the States for six years!"

"No, you cannot go there alone," Ziva précised.

"What other choice do I have?"

"You…" Ziva stopped, realizing that she couldn't ask Tony to do nothing. He was a cop and that was is job. She couldn't stop him just because she was worried. She wished she could stop him, though. She wished she could tell him "Do not go" and he wouldn't go.

"I'll be careful, Ziva, I promise." Tony's voice was now a whisper. Ziva didn't say anything. "I know I can't do anything, Ziva," Tony continued. "I can't arrest them both. I'll hide somewhere and wait for you to come."

"I will arrive as soon as I can," Ziva said, with a trembling voice.

"I'm sure you will." Somewhere not so far away from her, Tony smiled.

Ziva closed her eyes. "I'd better go now. The helicopter must be almost ready."

"Okay." Tony sighed. They both kept quiet for some time, then Tony said, "I really wanted to see you."

Ziva smiled sadly. "We will see each other later, anyways."

"I promise you we will."

* * *

Ziva kept taking glances at her clock. It was already 1945. The meeting between Ristler and Iceman would take place in fifteen minutes.

_We will never arrive on time_, she thought, biting her lip. She was tense, to say the least. She was trembling, even though it was quite hot in the plane. She could feel the other agents' eyes on her. They must have noticed that she wasn't feeling okay, but she didn't care. Her mind was focused on Tony's face, on his smile, on his voice, on his body lying on the ground, covered of blood.

Ziva pushed away that last thought. Tony was alright, she knew. He _had_ to be alright.

_It is a suicide mission_. She couldn't help being a little angry. Even though she knew that Tony had no choice, she didn't want him to go. He couldn't handle that situation by himself. What if he had been seen? What if those men had caught him? What could a single man do against a whole team of criminals? She was sure Iceman would bring some of his men at the meeting and this fact made her feel even worse.

"We're almost there, Agent David," one of the pilots said. Ziva nodded with relief, but soon the tension was haunting her again. She looked at the clock one more time, anxious, and her heart cracked when she saw the time: 8:05 pm. Tony was already there, at the bar.

_He is fine_, she told herself, getting up. She needed to focus on the work she had to do. She couldn't let herself think about him wounded or dead. She jumped off the plane as soon as she could. She was worn out, but the worry kept her awake and alert. She was ready to face anything, _anything_, to complete the mission, to help him, to _protect_ him. She had never felt like that in her whole life. There was a feeling flowing in her veins, an instinct of saving him, an instinct that was driving her body, and she didn't mind.

Ziva felt a little lost in that unknown city, but she didn't care. She asked the first man she saw where The Haunting Fox was. The old man looked at her a little scared, then he stuttered, "There… at… at the end of the street. On… on the left… turn left… it's only… two hundred yards…"

"Thank you." Ziva started running. The old man sighed with relief. That woman had scared him with her rush.

Ziva couldn't see what was surrounding her. If she had stopped, she would have seen a wonderful sunset, a beautiful sea and nice houses. However, she was completely unaware of the beauty around her. She didn't care about where she was. She only cared about where she was going. The other agents of the team followed him, armed with guns, and she could hear their footsteps behind her.

When they arrived at the end of the street, they turned left, just like they had been told. At that moment, they had to slow down. They couldn't be seen nor heard by those men they were about to arrest. They couldn't know about the agents' presence in advance, otherwise they would try to escape. Ziva and the agents had to be careful and _silent_.

While they were slowing approaching the pub, Ziva saw Ristler sitting at one of the outdoor tables. He was talking to a quite young man that Ziva guessed was Iceman. Beside them, there were two men with threatening expressions on their faces. Ziva could bet they had guns hidden somewhere.

She turned to face the agents and she gave them instructions. They all nodded and Ziva took a deep breath, looking around her, trying to see any sign of Tony. Either he wasn't there or he was hiding very well. She forced herself to focus on the job she had to do and gave the agents the signal. They all entered the outdoor space of the bar, pointing their guns at the men. Iceman and Ristler stood up, while people around them screamed and ran away. Iceman's man pointed their guns too, but soon the four criminals were surrounded by the agents and arrested.

Iceman laughed, while the older agent of the team was handcuffing him. "See, Hamish? I told you the man wasn't alone."

Ziva felt her heart break into a thousand pieces. They had found him, Tony had been seen. "Where is he?" she asked in a rush, with Iceman's face only a few inches apart from her.

Iceman stared right into her eyes and licked his lips. "You're much more enjoyable than him, sweetie," he said, laughing again.

Ziva repressed the instinct of giving him a smack. "Where. Is. He?" she repeated, articulating her words.

"Maybe in Hell," Iceman answered, faking a sad expression on his face. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid _my_ man has already killed him. After making him suffer _slowly_, of course."

_He is bluffing_. She needed to believe that. _He is bluffing._ She had to be strong. She had to be strong and to do what Iceman wanted her to do. _Tease back._

"And where is your man going to have fun with _my_ man, huh?" she asked, faking a smirk. "What is the last place my man is going to see before moving to Hell?"

Iceman laughed and Ziva really needed to try hard to stop herself from hurting him badly. His laughter was annoying her. She grabbed him by the arm and he shut up. "Okay, sweetie. You don't need to be so angry. Even if I _love_ angry women." He paused for a moment, showing another smirk on his face. "The park. I think my man has brought your man there. Brigham usually likes parks a lot. He loves killing in beautiful places. It's sort of ironic, isn't it?"

Before he finished speaking, Ziva started running. She could see the park from where she was. It was about four hundred yards away from her. She ran as fast as she could, faster that she thought she was able to run. She didn't care about the wind that was slamming against her, she didn't care about the sweat on her forehead or about the dust in her eyes. She focused on running, escaping from her awful thoughts, trying to reach Tony before it was late. Even though maybe it was already late.

She entered the park and felt lost, again. It was huge and she didn't know where to go, where to start looking for Tony. She took a deep breath, fighting against the tears that were begging to stain her face.

Suddenly, she heard someone screaming. The scream was coming from somewhere on her left and she immediately started running in that direction. She forced herself to be hopeful. If it had been Tony who had screamed, then he was alive. _He is alive_.

A hundred yards farther, Ziva stopped. There was a man lying on the ground, a man that was aching all over, a man that Ziva recognized as Tony. There was blood on his face. Ziva felt her heart crying with sorrow, but she told herself that he was alive and tried to focus on the man that was standing beside Tony. The man saw her too and they both pointed their guns at each other. Ziva saw Tony move and open his eyes widely when he saw her. Aching, he shook his head, moving his lips. It seemed that he was murmuring her name, but maybe she had just imagined it.

"Get away from him!" she yelled, with a trembling tone of voice. Brigham laughed, but soon he stopped.

Behind him, a man, one of the agents that had helped Ziva, was pointing a gun at him. "Move and you're dead." Brigham was shocked and didn't know what to do. He was still for a moment, but soon he moved, trying to turn and to shoot at the agent.

However, Ziva was faster and she shot Brigham who fell to the ground, dead. Ziva didn't move for a few seconds, stunned by the events that just happened in a heartbeat. Then she walked towards Tony and knelt beside him. "Tony," she murmured, afraid to touch him.

"Ziva..." His voice was a whisper and she could hear all his pain in it. "I'm fine."

"No, you are not," Ziva replied, taking a hanky from her pocket. Behind her, the agent was calling an ambulance. Ziva started to clean Tony's face from the blood, trying to ignore the sorrow that she felt in her chest every time Tony moaned.

"You know, I shouldn't have gone to the meeting after all," Tony said, laughing a little, then he coughed. "It was pointless, I knew you would come eventually."

"I promised you I would come," Ziva said, trying to smile reassuringly, but only a sad expression showed up on her face.

"We always come for each other, huh?" he asked, coughing again, smiling at her, aching. "We've always come." They looked into each other's eyes and Ziva felt like crying. His stare was so intense that it was making her suffer even more. However, it was also wonderful to feel his gaze on her.

"Yes," she said, smiling for real, but with tears slipping down her face.

"Hey, don't cry," Tony said, stretching his arm. His fingers touched Ziva's cheek and started caressing it, drying all her tears. "I'm fine," he repeated, then he lowered his arm, unable to keep caressing her because of the pain. "It's great to see you," he continued, then he smiled. "Even though I thought we would meet each other in a better situation." He gave a faint laugh. "Me, on the ground, with my nose broken and blood… and you, crying over my body… It's not the way I thought it would be."

Ziva sobbed, smiling. "And what did you expect it would be like?"

Tony smirked and didn't say anything for a few moments, then he spoke. "I was planning to kiss you." Ziva laughed, still with tears in her eyes. "It was a great plan, huh?" Tony asked.

Ziva smiled at him, passing the hanky on his cheek. "Yes, it was."

Tony sighed. After a few moments, he said, "I guess things are never like we want them to be." He smiled sadly and coughed once again.

Ziva stared at his face intensely, the sorrow flowing in her veins like blood. She hated seeing him like that, but she loved the way he was able to smile and joke even when he was aching, wounded. She loved him, now it was clear. The idea that he was planning to kiss her made her shiver. Her feelings for him were fighting to get out of her heart and to reveal themselves to the world, to him. And for once in her life she felt the need to listen to their request.

"It depends on us, I think," Ziva said, smiling a little.

"What?" he asked, looking at her with curiosity.

"To cause things to be like we want them to be," Ziva answered.

"And what do you want them to be like?" Tony stared at her intensely, lost in the beauty of her eyes filled with tears.

"Like this," Ziva whispered. She bent down towards him with her hands on his cheeks. Their lips were close and she closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears. Tony broke the distance between them and he kissed her. Their lips touched softly and his pain disappeared at once. He could only feel happiness in his bones now and excitement in his veins. Her lips were caressing his sweetly and he savored every second of the kiss, just like Ziva did. Tony felt one of her tears fall down on his cheek and he broke the kiss gently. He caressed her face once again, lost in her eyes. It was the most beautiful view of his life and he was determined to enjoy every detail of it, every detail of _her_.

"You're beautiful," he said, letting go of the words that he had been hiding from her for too long, now knowing that she would understand their whole meaning. Ziva smiled and moved her face away from his, slowly. They heard the siren of the ambulance and Ziva looked away from him. Still staring at her, Tony thought that it had been even better that what he had planned.

* * *

Tony was out of the hospital the following night. He had nothing broken but the nose, he just needed to rest to recover completely. He and Ziva hadn't talked much that day. Ziva had come back to the ship to take his suitcase, then they both had left for the airport together with the agents. They had decided to take a normal plane instead of the military one, which would have been too uncomfortable for Tony.

Ziva was exhausted, Tony could see her tiredness on her face. However, she looked happy and relieved and he loved it when she fell asleep next to him, on her seat, leaning her head onto his shoulder. Listening to her breathing, Tony thought about all that had happened in the last six months. Everything had changed. They had taken many little steps to get where they were now. They had fought, they had laughed, they had touched. Every moment was imprinted in Tony's mind forever. It had been a long time, but he didn't regret any second of it. He didn't regret not having kissed her before. He had waited, he had waited until the moment their love had become clear to their eyes, when it had become _obvious_. He had waited for that moment for a long time and he couldn't help thinking that it had been perfect, that it was perfect. Of course, they would have to take other steps, there were things to discuss and a life to plan. But at that moment, what they had already gotten was all Tony could hope for.

Ziva smiled in her dreams and Tony looked at her, smiling as well, staring at the beautiful shine coming from her. He caressed her hair and he leaned his head on hers, closing his eyes. Soon, he was asleep too.


End file.
